Musings on Civilisation

I'm back from the Big Apple, the large cheese, the Empire state strikes back etc etc.

Ghandi, when arriving in Great Britain, was asked:
"What do you think of Western civilisation?"
"What do I think of Western civilisation? I think it would be a very good idea."

I was reminded of this quote as I arrived in Newark airport, late one evening last week. I don't mean any offense to Americans, I personally love the one's I've come into contact with during my lifetime, but there seems to be a group that arn't my cup of tea. Politicians.

While I was there, I saw a number of adverts that I personally thought were a joke:
"Bob Menendez sells drugs to children." (I embellish slightly perhaps.)
About 20 minutes later, I had the misfortune to catch another:
"Tom Kean Jr is a racist who WILL attack your mother." (My memory has faded a tad..)

I couldn't believe the dirty tactics used by politicians in what is supposed to be the most civilised nation on the planet. The idea of a Senator, surely, is to command the respect of their constituents; proving to the public that they are being led by mature, wise and well-rounded individuals. I found (find it, as afterall it goes on in my country too) it fairly disgraceful that the voting public are being patronised by their would-be leaders. From my experience, treat others with the respect they deserve; possibly why politicians get very little from many.

In the last General Election in the UK, the Conservatives led a campaign based on negative aspects of the Labour Party. They lost. It seems the voter doesn't like being treated like an idiot.

It's one step down from:
"Do you remember when old Mabel got run over?

Tony Blair does."

The Big Apple

I won't be able to write anything for a week or so, I'm heading out to the states tomorrow, New Jersey to be exact. I realise that the picture is of New York, I'm going there too... I think...I never really plan ahead.
Anyhoo, I hope you all have a good week, try not to worry too much about the world, it'll sort itself out eventually. We'll achieve harmony before the end.

Peace
x

End Game

Possibly not the most responsible move by an Army chief: "we want out."
What positive effect this could have on soldiers' morale, I'm not totally sure. Risking your life is one thing as part of your job, but doing it when you're bosses don't even think you're going to be there.
Also, any deaths that occur out in Iraq between now and the day of leaving, will be scrutinised and criticised even more than they are already; "They should have been home already".
Talking of responsibility, it probably wasn't the best idea to announce it to the most right-wing newspaper available; The Daily Mail HATES Tony Blair, and anything that is connected to the Iraq War. I don't think this is because they are against violence in the Middle East...after all, that would hint that they have some kind of conscience... but rather they just like bashing the government.
It would be like Dick Cheney announcing something through the National Inquirer, or a daily newspaper whose headlines typically read something like:
"DOES TEENAGE SEX HURT YOUR DAUGHTERS?"
"ASYLUM, YOU'RE RIGHT TO WORRY"
etc etc.

It's all a bit of a shambles, however the sentiment is perhaps right. We want our men home. But at what cost to the Iraqi people and our national morale?

The winner of this war was capitalism, and the loser was humanity.

It turned into a bit of a rant..

So I've basically neglected my responsibilities for a little while; I haven't posted anything except pictures and videos. Yeah, very lazy.

Have another video.


But on a more inspirational note, I'll give you a quote by Brittany Murphy:
"Everybody has difficult years, but a lot of times the difficult years end up being the greatest years of your entire life, if you survive them."

Oh, and North Korea have full nuclear capabilities, and are "a threat to peace".
What's the betting that its us who attacks first? We do love our pre-emptive strikes! Surely the people who start wars should be seen as more of a threat..
The reason Britain are so nice to America? We don't want them to attack. The "Special Relationship" is more like going out with a slightly scary partner that you don't want to break up with, in case they bomb you.

I'd have thought that the country with the most ASSault weapons (that's right, I made an ass joke to show my rage. Although in Britain it should be "arse" but it didn't fit too well into the word assault.) Anyway, surely the country with the most assault weapons should be the biggest threat to PEACE?

"We need to be able to defend ourselves, something'th amendment etc"

Well stop attacking people and I might believe you. And no, somebody building a weapon isn't reason to attack. They're just copying you because you're so cool.

Clooney on Darfur

It may have been the words of a hollywood actor, rather than a political leader, but I found them rather poignant and apt.

Virginia

Sorry about lack of postage, life is busy!
I promise to do better in future.

Sign of the Beast?

It seems Blair has new worry lines...in the shape of a "W" on his forehead...

Suggestions for what it stands for please? The poor guy seems to be ageing in dog years!

Whatever happened to Papal infallibility?

Just a quick thought, I know that perhaps the Pope's recent verbal-accident wasn't Catholic related, but isn't everything he says supposed to be completely infallible?
Later research told me this: According to the Catholic Church "the Bishop of Rome IS infallible - but only in specific cases."

But someone who has to retract an earlier statement...surely shouldn't be given the responsibility for millions of Catholics? If I were one, I'd rather like my leader to think before saying rather silly things..

On the other hand, he does have a rather nice hat. I have one too, they're half price in Gap at the mo.

Irony Lost...

The Pope made some inflammatory remarks about Islam the other day, connecting the religion to violence.

How did a few Muslims attempt to counter this argument?

By burning an effigy of the pope, and calling for him to be killed. But I'm pretty sure thats the Islamic equivalent to "No hard feelings mate."

Is irony just a Western thing? If someone connected ginger people to violence, I'd march the streets stroking a rabbit; acting in a way that could only be described by the words "aww". Wouldn't that make a more useful statement than this?:

"Death of a President" WILL be found in USA

The new ficticious feature, including the assassination of George Bush in 2007, has been sold to the American "Newmarket films", and so will be distributed in the USA. The film has received a large amount of criticism, and has been labeled "irresponsible" by many conservative critics; however the directer states:

I don't think anyone would get the idea of assassinating Bush from this film

Gabriel Range

Newmarket films, which also distributed The Passion of the Christ, is expected to give the film a wide release over the coming months.

Finally, a gritty and biting look at our post 9/11 world from the liberal viewpoint.

Welcome!

I'd like to take this opporunity to introduce you all to

The New Adventures of SuperCal.
(previously mynameiscal.blogspot.com)

It's going to be better than ever.
There are still the old posts on the old page, but TNAOC holds "the best of" as it were, and I will only be updating this from now on!

Many thanks,
Cal

Banksy's Latest

Banksy strikes again, and love him or hate him...(most liberal Brits love him) his work strikes a chord across the world.
A life size replica of a Guantanamo bay detainee was placed in Disneyland inside the "Big Thunder Mountain Railroad" ride in California. It remained in place for 90 minutes inside the ride, before being taken away.

I don't know about you, but I can't help but smile at Banksy's subversive stunts. Last week, he smuggled 500 faked copies of Paris Hilton's new album, with his own remixes included such as "Why am I famous?" and "What have I done?"

It's hard to spend a day in London without stumbling across a Banksy; whether it's a small stenciled rat on a lamp-post, or an enormous mural of two police officers kissing. He's popular too.. in Bristol, the council wondered what to do about one of his works of art;
The stencilled image, which showed a naked man hanging onto a window ledge, won a 97% approval rating from residents on an internet discussion forum.

Even though it's strictly illegal, many Britains feel that Banksy is exercising our right to free-speech. He daubs what we think...so why not? It also gives character to the metropolis.

AND it pokes fun at the establishment...

My Favourite Stamp

These were the stamps sent to me on a letter from my Auntie Deb from Iraq during the 90's. I just thought they were priceless, so I kept them. Looking back, I'm surprised her assests weren't frozen for directly funding a terrorist. I suppose stranger things have happened. In case anybody from Mi6 reads my blog, I don't actually say "Yes Saddam".

Credit should go to
http://calami.blogspot.com/

Paris Arrested for DUI

About time she was arrested, as her entire "career" of television and musical abominations has been, frankly, criminal.
But early on Thursday morning, it is alleged that she was seen driving erratically and pulled over. Then they found traces of alcohol on her breath.

In her own words;
“I was just really hungry and I wanted to have an In-N-Out burger”

Robin Hood Moves with the Times

Sadly I think it might only be us Brits who are honoured with this one; but I'm not the only one who's a little bit excited. Taking the spot that "Doctor Who" took on the Saturday night television schedule, Robin Hood's latest incarnation is hoping to be big down our way.

Anyway, this is what people are saying:
The show, which has been filmed in high definition, is full of the expected swordsmanship, archery, fast-paced action, goodies and baddies - but the story has uncanny parallels with the war on terror and modern politics. In the opening episode, nobleman Robin returns from a war in the Middle East to find Nottinghamshire controlled by an unpopular leader where taxes are heavy and a climate of fear reigns.
"In one episode I say 'we can hold and execute outlaws without trial', which is not far removed from what's happening now," says one of the actors.

2016

Here's something I drew a while ago, while the bombing of Lebanon was at its worst. I don't mean it in bad taste, so please take it as satire!

Death of a President

A scene from the More4 drama Death Of A President, which portrays the assassination of President George W Bush at a Chicago rally in 2007. The White House has refused to comment on the programme, saying "it does not justify a response".

Terrorism is NOT just taking bombs and commiting suicide.
'Nuff said.

Please...think of the kittens

YE hypocrites! are these your pranks?
To murder men and give God thanks!
Desist, for shame!—proceed no further;
God won’t accept your thanks for MURDER!

Robbie Burns

Steorn - Perpetually clean energy?

An Irish company have made a substantial claim. That they have found an energy source that does no harm to the environment, and creates contstant "free" energy.

Trouble is, nobody believes them. They have called for scientists to contact them in order to have a 12 man jury to examine the invention. Trouble is, most people don't want that to happen.

I'm sceptical, just like most of the people who have heard of this. However, I haven't seen the invention. The general idea is to use magnets which pull a moving magnet round in a circle. This movement (similar to any kind of dynamo) cuts through the magnetic field, therefore inducing an electrical current. So, in theory, the invention could work.

It's up to you; hopefully you can be more open-minded about it than many others. My only worry is that if the idea turns out to be true...how long is it before hitmen hired by Shell or Texaco come for the inventors?

www.steorn.net

Where's Osama Bin Hidin?

In my mind, Osama reminds me of Michael Jackson.

Granted, I have a fairly unique mind, and that sentence has probably never been uttered before, but I think that the sentiment is valid.

He releases new material every now and then; he surprises the world with his dramatic and often dangerous antics; his voice is distinctive, and the majority of the world are slightly worried about what he'll do next.

See? I could be talking about either.

The only different is that one lives in a cave, and the other (ahem) in a rather large novelty ranch-cum-fairground.

I think the reason the USA declared Osama to be Enemy Number 1, was that they were so supremely confident that he could be caught. A man with a beard like that? Going about his terrorist business undetected? I think not.
The USA were rather bargaining on Bin Laden owning his own Afghani restaurant in Kabul, where they could steam in and arrest him; perhaps picking up a couple of Samboosaks to go.

I'm not trying to be too cruel to the USA here, it's the same with Britain; apparently we are caught on camera over 300 times a day in the cities, (except those of us who stay in and browse YouTube 24/7) and so our presence is monitored closely in our own nation. Ask the police where I am at any given point during the day; and they'll probably know.
(I've seen CSI, I know how it works.)

However, when it comes to searching for someone in caves around the Afghan desert; and when it seems most of the Afghan population have abundant facial hair; finding the Big OBL might be a wee-bit tricky.

Cuba's Future

Castro, either the heroic thorn in a dastardly superpower's side, or the oppressive and dictatorial leader of a poor and badly-treated population; Castro is the most enduring figure in the western world to this day. Having ruled Cuba for 47 years, over three quarters of the population have known no other leader.

Whatever we can say about him, his revolution and subsequent rule of Cuba has greatly affected the world in which we live in today.

As his health takes a turn for the worse, and he relinquishes power to his brother Raúl, the USA hovers in the wings, waiting for the opportune moment to "suggest" that the nation embraces democracy.

However, is it just me that worries about the kind of democracy that would result? From the way that Western democracies behave, it seems that one small island intent on antagonising the USA could prove fairly useful.

My cynicism bubbles to the surface as I begin to question what the motives behind the suggestions of democracy. Even in his dotage, Castro remains a divisive figure.

Not my kind of Politics.

On a day during which the UN continue to inspect the level of destruction in Lebanon, Israeli forces have killed a prominent Al-Aqsa figure.
It is said that although Israeli soldiers have attempted to kill him on a number of occasions, ironcally, his death did not come as part of a direct assassination attempt.

But wait a minute; forgive me if I'm wrong, but the conflict against Hezbollah was caused by the kidnap of two Israeli soldiers. The backlash of death and destruction that followed, led to the leader of Hezbollah, Nasrallah, saying that he regretted his provocative actions. Even though it seems he learnt his tactices from Israel.

And yet Israel continue to pound around the area, killing high-ranking Palestinians, and making late-night sorties into Lebanon. Although arguably losing the war against Hezbollah, Israel have learned nothing from it, except maybe to only pick fights against Palestine in future. Somebody needs to tell them that this behaviour is unacceptable. In my mind, it constitutes war-crimes and murder. Why not bring back Mossad?!

Here is one view on the conflict, it is part of a correspondance between a Lebanese and an Israeli man. This is the Israeli stance:

I agree with you, we did underestimate Hezbollah. But who thought that they would spend six years building up stocks of thousands of rockets, with warheads packed with metal ballbearings, to inflict more damage on civilian targets?

These are not weapons of self defence - their only aim is to inflict terror on civilian populations.

And yes, I agree that the devastation of Lebanon is appalling.

But if those Lebanese who opposed Syria's presence in Lebanon had crossed the border, murdered Syrian soldiers and kidnapped others; I doubt if you or anyone else would still be alive to debate Syria's response.

One tourist from Tel-Aviv, visiting the Lebanon-Israel border states, when asked if the war was right:
"For sure! It wasn't enough," he said, laughing, "but never mind - next time!"

Support T.W.A.T?

Royally Hung Up.

It seems that the Monarchy are in a right royal state, after it has emerged that the News of the World (who'd have thought!?) have been tapping their phones and listening to their voicemail.
It takes me back to previous Royal Tapping Scandals, involving "Camillagate" and... "squidgygate"....(I just don't want to know.)

The only thoughts that I have to share on this matter....ok thought, is that the only effect this will have is perhaps an increase in tourists at Buckingham Palace.

After all, the Royal Family has faced almost every scandal possible; infidelity, divorce, a dramatic death, and many other iffy issues.* The fact is, theyre still there. The reason why is that, while not everybody thinks that they provide a purpose, they do. Turn the television off, put the computer on standby, and pick up a newspaper to read about what those Terrific Toffs have got up recently.

The monarchy do succeed in providing their loyal subjects with first-class entertainment. (Although, the more intellectual subjects notice that its mainly the tabloids that think we care.)
The News of the World's circulation has dropped by half a million in recent years; inventing the truth is more their style.

Nobody really cares, but we can't help but crack a smile as we wait for the next installment of zany antics from the Palace.

*Not to mention Harry dressing as a Nazi to a party. 'Nuff said.

Blair Begins his Holiday

The trouble in the Middle East delayed his holiday, but Tony just couldn't wait to jet off to the Caribbean.
The post-it left on his desk for John Prescott simply states:
"Ahm, sort this Middle East thingy. Please?"
He has asked the UN to find a way of ending the violence:
"get down and get it done without delay" he said, as he stood in the Departure lounge wearing shorts and flip-flops, carrying a large inflatable shark under his arm.
Never fear however, the nation is in the safe hands of John "two jags" Prescott; the man who punched a voter in the face, had an affair in his office and ate a live bat during one of his concerts. Perhaps the last fact was a bit iffy... embellish? moi?
Come to think of it, Ozzy Osborne would perhaps fulfill more leadership criteria than the JP.

Just a thought.

Colourful Politics

As Israel continues to ravage Lebanon rather like a Doberman in a Children's Teddy Bear Museum, I begin to wonder who it is that is really defending themself.

Israel; on the one hand, were allegedly provoked and attacked with rockets, but also had two soldiers taken. (Everybody seems to disagree from where.)
But on the other hand, soldiers taken during hostilities from either side are often seen as prisoners of war, and can often be returned through peaceful and democratic means.

Lebanon however, although perhaps poking the head of a sleeping doberman with the leg of a teddy-bear*, now seem to be the nation defending itself, as the violence escalates, and puts the Lebanese death count at 900 and the Isreali toll at 62.
However, as the Israeli's maintain: Lebanon started it.

Anyways, as I like to throw in my opinion wherever it's least wanted, Israel's lack of diplomacy, and wildly disproportionate and violent assault against the country of Lebanon and its infrastructure can be explained only one way (rationally, that is)

The Israeli's REALLY don't want Beirut to get the 2016 olympics.


*I refer to an article first read on the-vigil.blogspot.com

True Religion

Someone recently asked me why I don't go to church. Since I consider myself a Christian, and also my father is a Vicar, I suppose it was a valid question.

In my head, I mulled it over.
As I went weekly from a very young age, I knew much of the doctrine by heart, and so recited it without knowing the significance of the words. It was a concatenation of personal feelings that led to my lack of churchiness.

I then replied:
"I feel that going to church doesn't make someone a Christian, as sitting in the garage doesn't make someone a car."

"Smart arse."

Baby Brown Update

Gordon Brown's next baby will be called
"Bad Bad Leroy" Brown, inkeeping with the Brown family trend.

UPDATE: New just in that the one after that will be named "Hash" Brown.

In the words of Kylie, "Lets Get Philosophical"

Fair enough; the title doesn't scan perhaps as well as Kylie's actual song "Lets get physical", but I needed something pithy to begin with. Is the opposite of dry humour "wet humour"?

Anyhoo, I thought today I might address the age old unanswerable question of:
When a tree falls in a forest, does it make a sound?

Not that I like to toot my own trombone, but I feel that the question could have been put better as:
Does a prawn sandwich taste of anything if nobody eats it?

I accept that by not answering a question, but in fact asking another one, I have proved little purpose, however I felt that the question was a bit iffy. Not that my prawn-sandwich question is much better, but it provides a slightly different viewpoint.
Perhaps for foodlovers.

Israel v. Lebanon

Well chaps, it seems that this conflict is into extra-time and show no signs of ending soon.
I thought I would just run over the Just War doctrine with anybody who is still sympathetic to the Israeli cause:

A war can only be waged as a last resort.
A war is just only it is waged by legitimate authority.
A war can only be fought to redress a wrong suffered (for example self defense) and must be waged with "right" intentions.
A war can only be fought if it is fought with a reasonable chance of success.
The violence use in the war must be proportional to the injury suffered.
The weapons used must discriminate between combatants and non-combatants. Civilians are never permissable targets of war.

If a proposed war fits all these criteria, it is said to be just.
In red are the criteria that Israel have not met.
In green are the factors that would debatably allow their war (along with the others)
In blue is arguable either way.

You can draw our own conclusions.

Gordon Brown, and Lebanon

In the midst of a global conflict that has the world separated, there is just one thing that is keeping me amused.

Gordon Brown's new baby is called James. James Brown.
Is it only me who has drawn a parallel between 60's soul legend and the chancellor's new baby?
I feel saddened that nation is so caught up in the Lebanon crisis that nobody is able to pass judgement about the choice of name for the unfortunate child.

On a political note, I can't believe that I live in a nation that believes in a RIDICULOUSLY disproportionate conflict.

I was stung by a bee once. Did I attempt to wipe out the entire species? I think not.
It's like being poked in the back of the head by a slightly irritating person, and deciding to turn round and punch them in the face repeatedly.

Only way I can see of rectifying this situation is for some seriously growing up to occur. Oh, and for the USA and UK to stop using this conflict as a way of creating a pro-west middle-east.

I just- I just despair sometimes.

7/7

I promised myself that I would never make this into a political thing, but as it's a year since terrorists blew up my city, I thought I needed to say something. On a day like this, I can't help but feel such sympathy for the victims and grieving families.

The media suggests that the men who carried out these atrocities were criminal masterminds; but they weren't. They were idiots who, like children with matches, had a fascination with destruction.

In the words of my hero, Jon Stewart, after the attacks on September 11th:

"Any fool can destroy. But to see these guys, these firefighters, these policemen and people from all over the country, literally, with buckets rebuilding. That's extraordinary. That's why we've already won. It's light. It's democracy. We've already won. They can't shut that down. They live in chaos and chaos- it can't sustain itself. It never could. It's too easy and it's too unsatisfying."

I, most certainly, am not afraid.

Twit Twoo

"Hoot"
It's 1am on a Sunday night and I'm trying to get some sleep to energise me for the week ahead. What doesnt help me is an owl hooting just outside my window.
"Hoot"
I lean out of the window.
"Do you mind? What the hell do you think you're doing?!"
The owl turns his beady eyes to face me.
"Sorry?"
"Well your hooting is keeping me awake, could you stop?"
"Sorry, hooting is kinda my thing, it's what owls do, don't you know."
"I thought owls were supposed to be wise?"
"Well we're not. Hooting is what we do."
"Oh, okay then. Sorry to bother you."
"That's not a problem."
....
"Hoot"

Philosophies of an Adolescent

Dressing in a particular way often cheers me up. So this morning, waking up feeling slightly dodgy, I decided I'd well and truly welcome summer with hawaiian shorts and flip flops.
After flip-flopping my journey to school, and arriving with sore feet, I was in no better mood. In my own mind I often feel neurotic and paranoid; perhaps where the deep thoughts I harbour stem from...

If I see someone for the first time, but they don't see me, I don't exist in their mind. If I don't exist in their mind then surely my existance can be doubted, as every conscious being cannot say to me "You exist." If you are reading my musings, then I exist to you. However, if you do not comment, then you do not exist in my mind. Not existing in my mind would leave your existance unwhole.

Food for thought....

My final, and perhaps bizarrely hedonistic and adolescent philosophical theory:
Our chances of being conceived are set at infinity to one; if my great-great-great grandfather had not got home from school on time one evening, missed his tea, then been kept in by his mother on the night that would have met my great-great-great grandmother, then I (and my entire family tree) would not be alive. I happen to think that my family are all fantastic people; and so if the opportunity for conception was denied, then so would the potential for thousands of children. Therefore shouldn't every opportunity for dating/conception be taken?
Perhaps this is close to Catholic doctrine...perhaps closer to the workings of an adolescent male mind; however I want you to think that if the first two humans had put off mating of an evening to play backgammon; would the world be the same today? Would YOU be alive?