Not my kind of Politics.

On a day during which the UN continue to inspect the level of destruction in Lebanon, Israeli forces have killed a prominent Al-Aqsa figure.
It is said that although Israeli soldiers have attempted to kill him on a number of occasions, ironcally, his death did not come as part of a direct assassination attempt.

But wait a minute; forgive me if I'm wrong, but the conflict against Hezbollah was caused by the kidnap of two Israeli soldiers. The backlash of death and destruction that followed, led to the leader of Hezbollah, Nasrallah, saying that he regretted his provocative actions. Even though it seems he learnt his tactices from Israel.

And yet Israel continue to pound around the area, killing high-ranking Palestinians, and making late-night sorties into Lebanon. Although arguably losing the war against Hezbollah, Israel have learned nothing from it, except maybe to only pick fights against Palestine in future. Somebody needs to tell them that this behaviour is unacceptable. In my mind, it constitutes war-crimes and murder. Why not bring back Mossad?!

Here is one view on the conflict, it is part of a correspondance between a Lebanese and an Israeli man. This is the Israeli stance:

I agree with you, we did underestimate Hezbollah. But who thought that they would spend six years building up stocks of thousands of rockets, with warheads packed with metal ballbearings, to inflict more damage on civilian targets?

These are not weapons of self defence - their only aim is to inflict terror on civilian populations.

And yes, I agree that the devastation of Lebanon is appalling.

But if those Lebanese who opposed Syria's presence in Lebanon had crossed the border, murdered Syrian soldiers and kidnapped others; I doubt if you or anyone else would still be alive to debate Syria's response.

One tourist from Tel-Aviv, visiting the Lebanon-Israel border states, when asked if the war was right:
"For sure! It wasn't enough," he said, laughing, "but never mind - next time!"

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Royally Hung Up.

It seems that the Monarchy are in a right royal state, after it has emerged that the News of the World (who'd have thought!?) have been tapping their phones and listening to their voicemail.
It takes me back to previous Royal Tapping Scandals, involving "Camillagate" and... "squidgygate"....(I just don't want to know.)

The only thoughts that I have to share on this matter....ok thought, is that the only effect this will have is perhaps an increase in tourists at Buckingham Palace.

After all, the Royal Family has faced almost every scandal possible; infidelity, divorce, a dramatic death, and many other iffy issues.* The fact is, theyre still there. The reason why is that, while not everybody thinks that they provide a purpose, they do. Turn the television off, put the computer on standby, and pick up a newspaper to read about what those Terrific Toffs have got up recently.

The monarchy do succeed in providing their loyal subjects with first-class entertainment. (Although, the more intellectual subjects notice that its mainly the tabloids that think we care.)
The News of the World's circulation has dropped by half a million in recent years; inventing the truth is more their style.

Nobody really cares, but we can't help but crack a smile as we wait for the next installment of zany antics from the Palace.

*Not to mention Harry dressing as a Nazi to a party. 'Nuff said.

Blair Begins his Holiday

The trouble in the Middle East delayed his holiday, but Tony just couldn't wait to jet off to the Caribbean.
The post-it left on his desk for John Prescott simply states:
"Ahm, sort this Middle East thingy. Please?"
He has asked the UN to find a way of ending the violence:
"get down and get it done without delay" he said, as he stood in the Departure lounge wearing shorts and flip-flops, carrying a large inflatable shark under his arm.
Never fear however, the nation is in the safe hands of John "two jags" Prescott; the man who punched a voter in the face, had an affair in his office and ate a live bat during one of his concerts. Perhaps the last fact was a bit iffy... embellish? moi?
Come to think of it, Ozzy Osborne would perhaps fulfill more leadership criteria than the JP.

Just a thought.

Colourful Politics

As Israel continues to ravage Lebanon rather like a Doberman in a Children's Teddy Bear Museum, I begin to wonder who it is that is really defending themself.

Israel; on the one hand, were allegedly provoked and attacked with rockets, but also had two soldiers taken. (Everybody seems to disagree from where.)
But on the other hand, soldiers taken during hostilities from either side are often seen as prisoners of war, and can often be returned through peaceful and democratic means.

Lebanon however, although perhaps poking the head of a sleeping doberman with the leg of a teddy-bear*, now seem to be the nation defending itself, as the violence escalates, and puts the Lebanese death count at 900 and the Isreali toll at 62.
However, as the Israeli's maintain: Lebanon started it.

Anyways, as I like to throw in my opinion wherever it's least wanted, Israel's lack of diplomacy, and wildly disproportionate and violent assault against the country of Lebanon and its infrastructure can be explained only one way (rationally, that is)

The Israeli's REALLY don't want Beirut to get the 2016 olympics.


*I refer to an article first read on the-vigil.blogspot.com

True Religion

Someone recently asked me why I don't go to church. Since I consider myself a Christian, and also my father is a Vicar, I suppose it was a valid question.

In my head, I mulled it over.
As I went weekly from a very young age, I knew much of the doctrine by heart, and so recited it without knowing the significance of the words. It was a concatenation of personal feelings that led to my lack of churchiness.

I then replied:
"I feel that going to church doesn't make someone a Christian, as sitting in the garage doesn't make someone a car."

"Smart arse."

Baby Brown Update

Gordon Brown's next baby will be called
"Bad Bad Leroy" Brown, inkeeping with the Brown family trend.

UPDATE: New just in that the one after that will be named "Hash" Brown.

In the words of Kylie, "Lets Get Philosophical"

Fair enough; the title doesn't scan perhaps as well as Kylie's actual song "Lets get physical", but I needed something pithy to begin with. Is the opposite of dry humour "wet humour"?

Anyhoo, I thought today I might address the age old unanswerable question of:
When a tree falls in a forest, does it make a sound?

Not that I like to toot my own trombone, but I feel that the question could have been put better as:
Does a prawn sandwich taste of anything if nobody eats it?

I accept that by not answering a question, but in fact asking another one, I have proved little purpose, however I felt that the question was a bit iffy. Not that my prawn-sandwich question is much better, but it provides a slightly different viewpoint.
Perhaps for foodlovers.